I already knew Mega Man was awesome. And Mega Man 2? Doubly so. That’s pretty much a no-brainer.The same can be said for the electric guitar, for yea, it is the only object known to man from which pure concentrated awesomery flows. However! You may be unprepared when these two crackling pillars of unadulterated awesomeforce intertwine and mingle into the raw, beating mass of downloadable music known as Mega Beardo. Exclamation point! Continue Reading

What’s the deal with Lost’s Jacob? You know, that weird dude hanging around the island, being kind of invisible, making people immortal?
Well, your guess is as good as mine. Actually, I take that back: my guesses are better. Here are five of them that I challenge you to beat.
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When The House passed health care reform legislation last week, conservatives across the country immediately took to bellyaching loudly about socialism, President Obama, Obamacare, and Obama’s socialistic agenda. Surprising, no? All of these themes were woven into an elegiac fugue about the beautiful and dead dream once known as the United States of America.
But America is not dead. It is alive and well, having been protected from certain doom several times by a lone hero named Jack Bauer. Sadly, this too must pass, as the hero must ride into the sunset for the last time.
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If you’re a Facebook user, chances are you’ve noticed a friend’s post, and said one of the following things to yourself:

“Goddammit, enough with the Farmville!”

OR

“Goddammit, enough with the Foursquare!”

In the case of the former, you may have said that about Mafia Wars, Petville, Roller Coaster Kingdom, or Cafe World instead. In the case of the latter, it may have been GoWalla instead of Foursquare (yeah, right). Either case is – let’s face it – fucking irritating. You don’t care that your buddy just built a stable or that they just went to Starbucks for the third time today. But today we will settle the question once and for all: are Zynga gamers bigger douchebags than Foursquare users? Red corner, you ready? Blue corner? * ding ding * Let’s get it on!

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Don’t get me wrong: I don’t care about Katy Perry, any girls she may have kissed, or the degree to which she enjoyed said kisses. Notheless, I feel it is our duty ( you know, our duty as a super-low traffic blog) to report on the rumors that are flying around about  her role as Smurfette in the upcoming Smurfs movie.

Now, before you start thinking that she will easily be the most fuckable version of Smurfette EVAR, please know two things:

1) It’s not live action, which is a damn shame, because with Quentin Tarantino confirmed as brainy smurf, it would have been interesting to say the least to see him waddling around stuffed into white tights. And gimme a side of NPH with that. Also:

2) There is a lot of Smurfette porn out there. Like, a lot. I did an image search for Smurfette with safe search turned off (inadvisable) and believe me: you people are messed up in the head in a major way.  Sure, some of those depictions filled me with strange and new feelings, but nevertheless, I can’t stress enough that you should avoid typing “Smurfette” into Google image search with safesearch turned off.

In any case, it’s just a rumor, so you know… who knows. If it turns out to be true, I’ll kind of miss the raspy just-smoked-fifteen-cigarettes quality of the original voice actress.  I hope it’s not, so I can go back to not talking about Katy Perry.